I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
