it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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