Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
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I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
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he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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