They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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