let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
