Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
