I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
