anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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