I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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