with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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