I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
