I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
