Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
