Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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