I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i think my mom watched the whole time
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
