sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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