I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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