I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
