i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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