so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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