I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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