The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
