You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
