Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I checked into jail on foursquare
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize