Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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