I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
