Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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