i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
