I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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