Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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