i just wanna soil my oats bro
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
