i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
