we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's shark week go big or go home
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
