it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
