First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
