yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
