Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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