goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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