Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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