I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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