so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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