she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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