Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
