You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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