The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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