just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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