I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
