im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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