hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
