it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
