I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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