now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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