that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
