look no pants
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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