They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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