that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
