would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
