Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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