My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
