Sry I called you an 8
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
