Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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