the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
