you guys were way drunker than both of me
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We don't watch enough power rangers
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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